Friday, March 03, 2006

Tormented by DEPRESSION, and the medicine isn't helping?

If you or anyone you care about is tormented by clinical depression and none of the medications seem to help, you need to read this!
(March 2006 was just the beginning, and many parts of were written more recently. I'm always adding more text and new links, whenever I manage to find another piece of the puzzle.)

Widespread ignorance regarding Endorphin Deficiency Syndrome, combined with the ruthless drug prohibition laws, sent me on a trip through hell and back. This ignorance also came within an inch of ending my life. If I can save people from going through this hell by just explaining a few scientifically proven facts, I need to do it.

Tormented by depression and nothing seems to help? You're not alone. Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta... You've tried two or three of these. They were supposed to help you feel better- but you just didn't! Sound familiar? Did you happen to notice that opioids like oxycodone and hydrocodone are the only substances capable of making you feel normal? You already know that every human brain contains "endorphins"... but did you know that endorphins are almost the exact same thing as morphine, only fifty times more potent? Some people have a deficiency of this endogenous (natural) morphine, resulting in miserable, intolerable depression unless this deficiency is somehow compensated for.
Endorphin Deficiency Syndrome: Do I have it?
If you’re suffering from treatment resistant depression, the following criteria should help you to determine whether an endogenous opioid deficiency is at the root of your problem:

W: Weak immune system- You don't know of anyone who catches nasty colds as often as you do. Perhaps you were even diagnosed with an autoimmune condition or two. (Amazingly enough, whenever you’re on opiates/opioids, your immune system seems to drastically strengthen)

R: No Runner's High. You've never in your life experienced the so-called 'runner's high'.
A: Allergies. Pollen allergy/Hay fever- This often comes with a chronic runny nose and possibly other allergies as well.
T: Tears. You're easy to bring to tears, or at least you were that way through your teenage years.
H: Hypersensitivity/sensory defensiveness- This could be hypersensitivity to touch, sound, light, temperature, etc. You're easily made uncomfortable by slight disturbances in your surroundings.
Did you answer ‘Yes’ to at least four of the above five criteria? Did reading this stunningly accurate description of yourself just make your heart just skip a beat? I’ve been told that happens quite often to readers of this site. The above five traits are not an authoritative diagnostic criteria for Endorphin Deficiency Syndrome, since no such criteria exist. While medical orthodoxy freely admits the fact that endorphins (naturally occurring opiate-like peptides in the human body) are responsible for both emotional well being and stimulating the body to produce disease-fighting antibodies, they’ve yet to draw the obvious conclusion that endorphin deficient individuals are therefore highly vulnerable to depression and sickness.

Here are three more common traits of EDS. These three traits aren’t quite as common as the first five, yet appear frequently enough to warrant mentioning:

* You're introverted, and annoyed by crowds. This may have something to do with the hypersensitivity trait, mentioned above.
* Your motor coordination skills developed slowly as a child. Your training wheels stayed on your bike for longer than normal. You were also lousy at sports.
* You have a 'Cluster B' personality disorder. These are Narcissistic personality disorder, Histrionic personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, and Antisocial personality disorder.

OK, I think I have Endorphin Deficiency Syndrome. Now what?
I know the depression is paralyzing you into inaction- I've been there too. Still, you should know you can't continue on this path indefinitely. You have no choice but to either kill yourself or get better. There's no third option, so you need to muster up your last ounce of strength and make your move- NOW!
If the neurotransmitter reuptake inhibitors (Paxil, Welbutrin, Celexa,Zoloft, Prozac, etc.) haven't already worked for you, they never will. Your problem lies not in serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine, but the endogenous opioids.

ECT can only 'reboot' your brain, without ever touching the underlying condition. Unless you find a way to compensate for your insufficient endogenous opioid levels, any perceived 'benefits' of the ECT would be very short lived. The doctors may be suggesting you undergo ECT; Not because it works, but only because they are desperate, and have absolutely nothing else. If they knew anything about endorphin deficiency syndrome, ECT would have never been presented to you as an option in the first place. (However, it should be noted that ECT does in fact occasionally benefit elderly depression patients in particular. ) .

If you've tried opiates/opioids, and already know they can make you feel 'normal', that’s another confirmation that listening to me is a good idea.
The key concept here for you to understand, is that
by consuming opioids from an external source, you are properly compensating for your endogenous opioid deficiency by consuming a substance that is nearly identical to what your body is lacking.
Thankfully, you will not necessarily have to take the drastic step of deliberately beginning an illegal opiate habit in order to achieve depression relief.
Here are the four known ways to boost your endorphin levels without resorting to such extreme measures:

1) Acupuncture. I've seen this help, although the scientific method has revealed that untrained puncturing with acupuncture needles actually works just as well as 'real', 'professional' acupuncture.   
2) Taking D-Phenylalanine (NOT L- Phenylalanine!) as a nutritional supplement: DLPA destroys the enzyme that causes endorphins to self-destruct, and so extends their life. The recommended dose for DLPA is 1000-2000 mg, 3x/day.

3) Capsaicin, a chemical found in chili peppers has been shown to positively affect endorphin levels. Got Tabasco sauce?

Dr. Bihari’s LDN. The best of the four, a fascinating but unproven concept, still in its infancy. I wish there was more clinical data to either prove or disprove this innovative idea. From everything I've seen and heard, I'd say this works about half the time. LDN should definitely be tried before resorting to opiates.

Effexor: Different than all the others:
If the above mentioned endorphin boosting measures fail to properly relieve your treatment resistant depression, you need to know that of all the antidepressants, effexor is special. That’s because effexor is molecularly similar to the quasi-opioid tramadol, and is therefore the closest you can get to finding a legal, medically accepted opioid script to treat your depression. It should come as no surprise to you that clinical studies have shown effexor to be by far the most effective tool medical orthodoxy has to offer in the treatment of refractory depression.

However, for many endorphin deficiency depression patients, acupuncture, D-phenylalanine & Effexor and LDN just aren't enough. For them, daily opiate/opioid use is really the only viable option.
More on Endorphin Deficiency Depression:
Depression can result from a deficiency/over reuptake of serotonin, norepinephrine, or dopamine. Depression can also result from a deficiency /over reuptake of your endogenous opioids (endorphins/dynorphins/enkephalins).
Watch TV for a couple hours and you'll probably see quite a few antidepressant commercials. Effexor aside, the cruel joke is that every single one of those commercials is just pitching yet another serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitor product. If your depression results from an endogenous opioid deficiency, none of those products can help you.

While common medical orthodoxy remains for some reason fixated on seratonin/norepinephrine/dopamine over-reuptake as the standard cause of nearly all depression, reality says otherwise. Every person has naturally occurring chemicals in their brain called endogenous opioids. They are endorphins, dynorphins and enkephalins. These endogenous opioids are very properly named, as they are (molecularly) nearly identical to real opioids like oxycodone or hydrocodone.

Some people have a natural deficiency of these vital chemicals, and have no choice but to consume opioids from an external source in order to feel 'normal'.
This is from the website of an American clinic with branches in three cities:

"Underproduction or over-removal (severe re-uptake) of these endogenous opioids can be the cause of many psychiatric disorders ranging from Bipolar Personality disorders to major depressive disorders that often times manifest themselves in severe drug abuse. Unbeknownst to them, these patients use opioid medications either illicit or pharmaceutical because they are compelled to attempt to replace the endorphins, dynorphins, and enkephalins (endogenous opioids) that naturally occur in their systems at insufficient levels."

A clinical trial conducted at Harvard Medical School in 1995 demonstrated that a majority of treatment-refractory, unipolar, nonpsychotic, major depression patients could be successfully treated with an opioid called Buprenorphine, even after dozens of other (non-opioid) medications had failed to provide these patients with any measure of relief. Some of these patients even endured electroshock therapy, which didn't help either.

If you suffer from this condition, your physician isn't going to tell you to urgently seek out opiates- let alone prescribe any. While many doctors are aware of the fact that numerous refractory depression patients can only be helped by opioids, the vast majority of physicians would be unwilling to prescribe accordingly out of fear of DEA persecution. The FDA has approved buprenorphine for the sole purpose of assisting patients detox off other opiates and opioids. (Bupe is rapidly replacing methadone as the preferred medication for this purpose.) Since uneducated DEA agents currently have the power to dictate to physicians how to practice medicine (and eagerly persecute those M.D.’s who are too ‘generous’ with their narcotic scripts- see 1 , 2, and 3), the typical doctor is likely to err on the side of caution by prescribing one worthless non-narcotic antidepressant after another, instead of just giving you the opioid medication you really need. (However, it should be noted that there is no law explicitly prohibiting off-label opioid scripts for anti-depressant purposes). If you lack the knowledge that opioids can help you- or simply lack a contact to score opioids illegally, you'll likely suffer a miserable, suicidal existence. Notch up another brilliant success in the government's 'War On Drugs'.

Fortunately, there's a way out. It's even technically legal. Buprenorphine (marketed under the brand names Subutex & Suboxone), has been proven to be highly effective in treating refractory depression resulting from an endogenous opioid deficiency. In order to prescribe it, an M.D. must first obtain special permission from the prohibition enforcement goons. But once he/she undergoes an 8-hour training course and files the necessary paperwork with the ruling regime, a doctor can prescribe buprenorphine pills to 'treat an opiate addiction problem'... Even if you don't really have one.For many, an oxycontin dependency isn't a problem they need to overcome, but rather a solution to the nightmare of major refractory depression which plagues them every waking hour. However, buprenorphine is safer, cheaper, and far more easily obtained than other opioids- and it works (sometimes). Buprenorphine partially binds to your µ- opioid receptor, which could just be all you really need to eliminate those feelings of crippling depression.
In order to find scientific papers and other evidence of the endogenous opioids-depression-opioids connection, you can visit the only web site I know of, which is solely devoted to this cause:

Every year, over 30,000 depressed Americans commit suicide. The fate of millions of additional depression patients is far worse - they live. Many tried seeking medical treatment, but were given the same old irrelevant serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor products. No opioids. LDN or opioid medication could have saved most of them, but ignorance killed them.

 And what about all those 'violent gun-wielding maniacs' you hear about in the news who do all those horrible mass shootings? I'll give you one guess at what nearly every single one of them has in common.... Yup, you guessed it- extreme refractory depression. Now, what if all those wretched souls had been given the anti-depressant medication of last resort? Everything could have played out SO DIFFERENTLY, and those children in Sandy Hook, those people at the Batman movie premiere in Colorado and many others could and would still be alive today, as Non-Islamaniac mass-shootings could immediately become an extreme rarity in our world. Ignorance kills, you see.
A Final Warning:
I am able to explain the phenomenon of EDS, far better than I can solve it.
Keep in mind that the science in this area is still in it's infancy. The terms 'endogenous opioid' & 'endorphin' didn't even exist until 1975. Before the mid-70's, there wasn't a scientist in the world who knew that the human brain contained natural, opiate like chemicals. Any opioid you can ingest is still only an approximate substitute and a crude replacement for what the EDS brain is lacking. Your brain's natural endorphins never cause tolerance build-up problems, which is unfortunately not the case with any opioid you can ingest. Ideally, an endogenous opioid deficient brain could be treated by putting exactly what is lacking, exactly where it belongs... but science hasn't yet figured out how to do that.

Let’s say you could rate clinical depression on a scale from one to ten; One being mild, barely noticeable discomfort, and ten being the worst depression imaginable: “Just shoot me now’ internal torment, complete with constant crying and panic attacks. OK, so here’s the problem: Let’s say you start off with mid-range depression, 5 to 6 on the above scale, and no opiate habit. You start using one or two hydrocodone pills per day and all symptoms of depression immediately disappear for a while. Pretty common scenario thus far. Now, as your opiate tolerance builds, a few months later you find that your depression is slowly returning. At that point you’re forced to either up your dose or face clinical depression symptoms that are even worse than they were before you started using hydrocodone- perhaps even an 8 or 9 on the above mentioned depression scale. If you try quitting all opioids cold turkey after using them for a while, you’ll almost certainly find your depression has become worse than it ever was.
(Fortunately, this problem is rarely irreversible. People quitting an opioid/opiate habit tend to go through about 6-12 months of ‘PAWS’- Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, after which the brain usually reverts to its previous pre-addiction state). Getting on the opiate train is easy- Getting off can be torturous.

Some EDS sufferers find buprenorphine to be their ‘perfect solution’ for years and years, but some find that after a while the bupe no longer works anywhere near as well as it did at first.
One or two little vicodin pills a day may be enough to completely banish your depression for a while, but I can almost guarantee you that within a year you’ll have no choice but to either step up your opioid use, or suffer from depression far worse than it was before you started. Buprenorphine on the other hand, carries the significant advantage of little to no tolerance build-up over time. I
had to mention this, because you need to be fully informed of all the risks involved with attempting to ingest opioids to compensate for an endogenous opioid deficiency, before you can make your own decision._________
Need more proof?
Hundreds of personal testimonials from people who have struggled with depression resulting from an endogenous opioid deficiency can be found here, here, and here.
All of these depression patients tell a version of the exact same story, which is:
A) I was tormented with clinical depression for years. B) I sought medical help, tried one medication after another (sometimes even ECT), and nothing helped. Suicide became a compelling option. C) Finally, I happened to try opioids, and was amazed to find that oxycodone or buprenorphine is my long awaited solution. This really works, and nothing else even comes close!
A few more message board threads about Endorphin Deficiency Depression:
Need more proof?
While the vital role of the human body's endogenous opioid system is currently tragically under researched, a few relevant scientific papers have indeed been published. While some of this work is less than ideal (such as studies of rodents, instead of human subjects), these reference materials do help validate the concepts I've explained here:
Oxycodone/Oxymorphone found to help 5 out of 6 'incurable' refractory depression patients:
Here's a fantastic new article that agrees with everything I've been saying all along about endorphin deficiency syndrome. The article even agrees with a theory I've held for years, that different individuals gravitate to different types of drugs according to their personal chemical deficiencies:
More on Dr. Bihari's LDN, as research into this fascinating concept has finally begun to gain momentum. Since this is an expired-patent medication, the big drug companies have every incentive to ignore (if not outright suppress) LDN research:
The best one of all- The Bodkin Experiment:

 There's also been a more recent follow-up to the Bodkin experiment. This new study not only re-enforces the original Bodkin findings (proving buprenorphine to effectively neutralize treatment resistant depression, in more cases than not), but even goes as far as admitting:
"Possibly, the response to opiates describes a special subtype of depressive disorders e.g corresponding to a dysregulation of the endogenous opioid system and not of the monaminergic system."
(Gee... ya think? What have I been saying here all along? Won't you people in medical orthodoxy please catch up to me already, so that this website and all my efforts to spread knowledge of a syndrome that supposedly doesn't exist, will finally be no longer required? )

Update- Feb. 2013:

Taking it to the next level:

So now you have at least a basic idea of what is wrong in our society and what needs to be fixed. But that’s not nearly good enough, because the vast majority of people (including the vast majority of E.D.S. sufferers) don’t have the first clue about any of this. With the aim of putting an end to the wide scale needless suffering currently endured by countless E.D.S. sufferers and their loved ones, what we really need here is a new civil rights group dedicated to fixing what is currently broken. Oppressed minority groups usually aren’t just granted relief by their tormentors- they need to fight for it! However, ours is not a case of Good vs. Evil- it is merely a case of Truth vs. Ignorance. Our foes need not be battled or beaten- They merely need to be educated. I envision the creation of a new civil rights organization, made up of E.D.S. sufferers and our loved ones, dedicated to bringing about certain specific important changes with regards to the treatment of people suffering from E.D.S. depression.

Our Goals:

1)      We need to get E.D.S. depression to be recognized for what it is by the public- or at least by the medical professionals we come to for help. Doctors, psychologists, drug rehab industry workers, and suicide hotline operators all need to know how to distinguish between endorphin deficiency syndrome depression and depression that is rooted in other causes.

2)      Standardizing Low Dose Naltrexone as the first option prescription of choice, every time E.D.S. depression is diagnosed. L.D.N. works about half the time in relieving the internal torment of E.D.S. depression, even after all the other medications and supplements have failed. A 50/50 shot would already be a vast improvement over what E.D.S. patients who seek help are currently given. 
     What about buprenorphine (suboxone/subutex), as mentioned above? That works sometimes too, but even less often than L.D.N. does. Bupe tends to work great for the first few months it is tried. Afterwards? Not so much...

3)      Standardizing hard opiates- oxycodone or better, as the accepted anti-depressant medication of last resort. These would be used only in the most extreme of situations; Severe refractory depression patients who have already tried dozens of other things (including L.D.N. and buprenorphine) without success in finding relief (=making their lives remotely tolerable). Note that the goal of our organization is NOT to replace the ‘war on drugs’ with a system that actually makes sense. Our goal is NOT to legalize freedom. Those types of organizations already exist, and to them I tip my hat (and write the occasional check). However, our third goal is far more narrow than that- it is only to legitimize hard opiates as the standard, medically accepted anti-depressant medication of last resort, despite all of the baggage and side-effects that go hand in hand with opiate dependency. Those who have experienced extreme long-term depression first hand already know that opiate dependency (call it ‘addiction’ if you must) is a walk in the park next to the hopeless all-consuming internal torment of severe depression.
       Providing people with medications that actually achieve their desired goal for a change is far more important than maximizing corporate profits with new expensive depression treatments that don’t do a thing to bring any measure of relief to E.D.S. depression sufferers. Corporate net profits of the major drug companies may have to decline by a percentage point or two, but some things are simply more important than money.

4)      Our final goal is to begin the process of serious, well-funded research into endogenous opioids, endorphin deficiency syndrome, and the connection to depression. Want to see something that will really piss you off? 
     On this page you will find the list of all recent, current, and upcoming clinical trials dealing with depression. Over five thousand in total. While I haven’t recently taken the time to sort through the entire list, the last time I did so I couldn’t find one single freaking clinical trial with any relevance whatsoever for E.D.S. depression sufferers. Not one. This really needs to change! With enough scientific research, the possibility is strong that new and better solutions can be found to the serious problem of E.D.S. depression and all the needless suffering it brings to so many people.

What it feels like:

       E.D.S. often leads to depression so intolerable that all you want to do is either get well or die, and nothing else in the world really matters. Extreme depression is difficult to describe. If you’ve never experienced it, you’ll probably never really comprehend it. It’s absolutely nothing like the sadness other people go through when they lose a loved one or suffer other extreme misfortunes. The torment comes from INSIDE. Nothing is wrong, but EVERYTHING IS WRONG. You can’t care. You can’t love. You can’t function. The only two options are to get better or kill yourself. Continuing to live with the sickness of constant, extreme internal torment just for one's family’s sake is what many E.D.S. sufferers end up doing. If you haven’t gone through this yourself, you won’t find it easy to understand… but if I want the way E.D.S. depression patients are treated to change, making non-afflicted people somehow understand this sickness is exactly what I need to do.   

E.D.S. Better Defined:
 As if this whole deal wasn't complicated enough, I must mention that 'Endorphin Deficiency Syndrome' is a term of unknown origin that doesn't exactly mean a simple deficiency of endorphins. Rather, 'E.D.S.' is just a slightly more convenient way of saying; 'A disorder of insufficient endogenous opioid levels (not necessarily endorphins) and/or oxytocin and/or an over-re-uptake of these necessary peptides, and/or something else I don’t really understand yet.' Did that help? Didn't think so. That's why the goal of well-funded serious research into what this thing really is and how it can be defeated is so important. If anyone out there is already working on this at the laboratory level, please let me know, because I am not currently aware of your existence. I can be reached at ...and if you have anything else you think I'd want to know, please feel free... unless you have more estranged (former) friends than current friends. In that case, please leave me alone. (Some E.D.S. sufferers also have some serious personality disorders. Getting sucked into the 'drama pit' of a toxic person's life is the last thing I need right now... or ever.)

Irony Defined:
Ok, so here's something to think about: Do you realize that those sick pervs who want to legalize child sexual abuse actually have better publicity and more success at getting their creepy ideological views out into the public eye than we do? For real! How many people have heard of NAMBLA (and have a basic idea of what they want and why they think they should get it), and how many people have ever heard of E.D.S. depression? How many people have heard about why hard opiates need to become the accepted anti-depressant medication of last resort? How about Low Dose Naltrexone as an anti-depressant... see any commercials on TV for that lately? If this is unacceptable to you, please feel free to do something- anything- towards moving this deserving cause in the right direction. Thanks!    

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Anonymous Nancy B. said...

Great piece on opiate defiency in relation to refractory depression.

Each reference is also well worth reading, especially the Bodkin Experiment.

April 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No marketed anti-depressant came close to controlling my life-long depression. Clearly, Suboxone worked for me. Glad someone is taking the time to blog all this information. When you need my name, I'll be glad to give it.


April 30, 2006  
Anonymous Kristan said...

Thank you so much for writing about this. Although I AM an opiate addict--my love for Oxycontin and other opiates STARTED because for the first time in my life I felt the way I KNEW other people always feel!

For me, the addiction part was worth it because even though I couldn't control my use of short acting opioids--I found what works for ME because I sought help for my addiction.

I have been on Methadone for nearly two years now--and when people ask me when I am going to "get off that chit?" I look at them and say
"when are you gonna stop taking YOUR antidepressant {or INSERT medication HERE}?"
It usually shuts them up!

Good work!

May 17, 2006  
Anonymous Tim said...

Stigma, stereotypes, and fear produced by ignorance have been the guiding force of opioid medication legislation for the last 100 years. Fear of the unknown and the connotation a substance is evil seems like it comes from the dark ages but it is actually current thinking in the halls of ignorance. Opioids are not “evil” no substance is. If someone requires a medication that can profoundly improve their quality of life without major side effects, they should not be denied it because someone else has misused it. The criminalization of medicines is completely absurd in today’s world. The damage of the “war on drugs” touches all of us in negative ways. Science should determine what drugs are appropriate for what not the government.

May 27, 2006  
Anonymous MonkeyDriver said...

Very well put Reardon.

May 30, 2006  
Anonymous TheActionKid said...


Nice blog. Very well written and good references to support your argument :-)
I think that this will be a very big help to a lot of people.

Till We Meet Again,


May 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes I get the impression you really have tapped into some of the abstract systems out there and figured a few things out, to some extent.

Like, there are some things you "get" that are beyond what most people can comprehend. I found you through elite trader (don't want to reveal myself), but I am going to follow your blog a bit because I feel like you have a perspective I need to learn from.

I know a bit about abnormal psych and such, as my mother works in a nursing home and has some subtle observations about such things, and I am a bit "off" myself, trying to find answers.

June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband sent me your website after I had made the same finding re opiates. Nice that I am not the only one. Now if only my doctor would read that and research it.

August 09, 2006  
Blogger PlaneGuy said...

Well, Tim summed up almost everything I was going to say on the subject of opiate treatments. It is so true that the US is not only ignorant of the fact that there is medicine available to treat their patients correctly, but they are also lazy and GREADY. All the doctors I went to never listened when I told them "the serotonin stuff isn't working, could it be something else". He said "if this SSRI doesn't help, then I am sending you to a specialist". I know more than my doctors on depression/pain, and I am only 23! Putting me off like all the others so he doesn't have to research/accept what is easily available on not only these boards, but in many controlled studies.

We need to take a stand together and educate our nation and its obeise government. I am not sure how, but there are people out there who could lead us, but sad to say, most don't utilize the internet, such a powerful resource that is grossly wasted. It's depressing just thinking about it. If the powerful ones high up in governmental places were filled with caring people like Rearden and people from NAABT, it would be made possible.



August 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

like reading my problem is that our docs here in australia wont touch me , and look at me like im a criminal when i dare mention such things...ive never been an opiate addict, but spent years on THC before finally kicking it, and ''discovered'' happiness purely by chance after a procedure require pain killers...god help

September 12, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow - this is really fascinating. I've always felt like my drug use made me feel more "normal" than high. And I've tried just about every anti-depressant there is. At age 41, I finally figured that this is just how I'm going to feel. Then I kind of stumbled onto hydrocodone, and thought I had found the answer. Maybe I was fortunate in that I became so dependent on hydrocodone that I had to turn to buprenorphine for help. Now I'm legally on Suboxone. Just started it but am already amazed at how good I feel. And after reading this blog I'm wondering if it will help with my underlying depression too? Thanks for making the effort to get this info out.

March 15, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, let me just don my parrot garb and chime in with all of the above good and wizened folks who have the fortune to stop by and , perhaps, become themselves as they were meant to be.

August 09, 2007  
Blogger Tom said...

Yes, I totally agree.
Oxycontin and then Fetanyl Patches made me feel normal.
However, my family (and I) could tell after I took a fresh pill or put on a fresh patch because I would be too outgoing in my personality...although I liked the feeling.
These drugs made me feel normal.
However, I could not control an equal level of these medicines in I said they would hit me too strong and then wear down until I took more, and then there was the dependancy issue.
I just started Suboxone 2 days ago.
Its working for the withdrawals, however hopefully this depression goes away. Maybe as the Fetanyl weens its way out of my system, I will be more respondant to the Suboxone.
Question - Can I also take Effexor and/or the DLPA with my Suboxone?
Please email

October 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comprehensive info on something I accidentally discovered years ago when trying to find a solution to my deep depression.

I'd tried MANY antidepressants, and ironically only effexor helped ( your blog explained why that one helped - thanks ), but had several disturbing side effects.

I'm pressed for time, but here are a couple of websites that might be of interest.

This one details findings by two separate studies that show some people have an incredibly high ratio of certain receptors. It's more complicated than that, but you can read them. Basically, some non-diseased and non-drug using people had committed suicide ( very depressed ), and their brains were examined. The theory is that they had far too many opiate type receptors to stimulate naturally, and they were so miserable feeling they just couldn't go on.

Unfortunately, tolerance and dependence rapidly develop. For me, the combination on agonist and antagonist in suboxone stopped both and I took it with great results for about two years. Had to stop because my Doctor had his license pulled for supposedly asking for sex for scripts. I still don't believe it, but the points moot here. Anyway, I've been deathly miserable ever since ( about 9 months now ) stopping except for a few minutes here and there.

I also wonder if anyone else who might be endorphin deficient had problems with chronic fatigue and routine bowel irritation that opiates immediately remedied.

I might post more data later.

Thanks again.


January 11, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoops - sites letters got dropped


January 11, 2008  
Anonymous Tom said...

In regards to Jim's posting on Jan 11: "I also wonder if anyone else who might be endorphin deficient had problems with chronic fatigue and routine bowel irritation that opiates immediately remedied."

Answer: Most certainly, yes. (Though bowel "irritation" is an understatement). I suffered from Crohn's Disease for 7 years (a debilitating inflammatory bowel disease), as well as EDS. When I began a prescribed low-dose opiate regimen for depression (EDS), the Crohn's vanished. Repeat, vanished. All symptoms gone, including diarrhea, severe cramping, fevers and a nasty actively-draining fistula. The next 1.5 years were the best of my life, because my depression was gone, my Crohn's was non-existent, I felt healthier than ever in my life. I felt "normal" -- a word you hear so much with this topic. And then of course, tolerance and dependence became an issue. What began with 5-10 mg oxycodone/day had crept up to 40-60/day within 18 months -- and that was just to get by, not anywhere near the healthy/happy levels from the beginning. Fearing the long road of increasing doses and dependence, I chose to take myself off, against my doctor's wishes. Enter: suboxone. The sub worked great for a month or two, but then it felt like it wasn't working, so I started the back and forth "vacationing" -- which continues today. This has all happened in the last 2-2.5 years. Unfortunately, the Crohn's came back as soon as I came off the regimen, and now I'm basically back to where I was when i started -- except now I'm dependent on more meds, which of course cost money. It's a very cruel science - the whole brain chemical reaction of endogenous opiods, tolerance, etc. I'm sure that someday they'll figure this out and it won't be a problem, but until then, we are the ones that suffer. It's almost like us thinking back to another century when there were diseases that are now treatable/curable. I'm sure you've seen black and white photos of people suffering from diseases that are now not even talked about because we have meds for them. Think of those poor souls that suffered through them, most people wonder "if they had only been born 100 years later, they wouldn't have had to endure it." I'm fairly certain that one day -- probably in the next 50-100 years -- the endorphin thing will be treatable (without dependence & tolerance), and there will be a lot less suffering, crime, suicides, etc -- and all of the other things that result from this. One day we'll be those people in the black and white photos that our grandkids' generation feels sorry for. Of course, if someone such as, oh I don't know -- the pharmaceutical companies -- would start funding more studies and research, this could be avoidable. But for now they're happy with the stock prices of Prozac and other SSRI/SNRI meds, so why should they.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. To summarize, yes -- IMO, opiates can have a positive affect on immune system, and Crohn's is an autoimmune (as is Lupus, MS, etc), so it makes total sense that if they could solve the EDS issue, they could kill a heck of a lot of birds with one stone. Reardon's postings on low dose naltrexone (LDN) can help you learn more about that. It's being used for Crohn's in small trials now. You may want to read up on the Bodkin Experiment, LDN, and any more of Reardon's posts you can find. It's pioneers like him that give us a fighting chance of making progress, hopefully in our lifetime.

January 12, 2008  
Blogger Andrei said...

I am also impressed to read all of your comments, I never had a serious depression, as the matter of fact I had an opiate addiction. Suboxone treatment was a real help for me all along my healing program.

January 15, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One thing you left out on your site oxycodone and other opiates kill the endorphins that your body makes, so someone that didnt have EDS b4 becoming an addict now has EDS and Suboxone can be a life saver

February 21, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm saving up enough oxycontin right now to commit suicide within the next couple of weeks because I've tried it all... Buprenorphine for 7 years, but the manufacturer is rarely "in stock" at the USA's largest pharamcy in the country -- in fact, Walgreens is the ONLY pharmacy in the country which is on what is called a "real time" system, meaning that they can transfer your Rx refills or partials around the country up to five times per script...

I need this service b/c I travel heavily working a $250K a year job for a Fortune 100 company, and have a 146-152 IQ...

What a waste of a human being's life, huh? All b/c the mfg of Buprenex and Subutex cannot appropriately stock it, and I can no long live with the depression...

Again, it's not the withdrawls (although those can be a bitch), nor the frequent trips to TJ and Laredo and El Paso...

I'm just f_cking tired of it all... The medical profession doesn't get it, and our U.S. Bill of Rights doesn't allow me what I require to live a normal, happy, and productive existence --- which I've proven for years at a time that I'm able to do, when appropriately medicated.

I'm serious.
This is not a joke.
I am done with this horrific hell on earth... I pray daily to God that He will not damn me to the real Hell (lake of fire) for being such a coward and taking the easy way out...

I love you all who suffer, and God speed to each and every one of you who can find heppiness in this world, and also simultaneously suffer from this disease.


April 07, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi...great site...very true, and im formative...i definetly have an endorphin , and dopamine deficiency....always new this to be regular anti dep..dont seem to hence my opiate habit began...and i felt i just started subutex, and once again i feel normal, not high..not euphoric...i need to be on this for good....just hope my doc understands...just wanna be normal...not miserable..ty

May 03, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a brilliant introdution, i have suffered from severe near suicidal depression, my default state of being is as if i am bottomless, as if a bottomless pit exists in me.
The first time i tried odeine for pain i also found that i felt normal, i felt like i could enjoy life, like i was a normal person, over years this lead to more usage and harder opiates, i have now ended up with a 2 year addition to oral opium, it has taken up all my money, my job (although i am diagnosed as too mentally ill to work now), my free time etc, however i will do anything to feel funtioning; anything to escape the bottomless pit, beause no doctor would give me the medication i NEED i had to turn to this route, however in a less paranoid and more advanced world i would be recognised as being sick and the oral morphine i take everyday just to feel normal would be presribed to me as my right to good medicine, instead i am a criminal for just trying to balance the noise in my head and due to the cost i have lost everything.
i am glad people like you are speaking out! i knew i was sick and not just loooking to 'get high', i pay for a world where the medicine that works for me is given to me legally as medicine, i am on the waiting list for methadone but that has been slow and very painfull.

May 05, 2008  
Blogger Albert said...

Anxiety and depression are two mental disorders that apart from being confused very often are also two of the commonest mental illnesses. Technically and medically there are a lot of dissimilarities between them though they seem to be similar on the surface. However, the fact that they are often confused to be the same is because they do have certain similarities. As for example the symptoms are very similar. There are certain similarities in the analogy also like both anxiety and depression can be caused by medicines or medications of other diseases or drug interactions. Antidepressants like xanax are prescribed by doctors for both anxiety as well as depression.

July 03, 2008  
Anonymous Trampy said...

There are many reasons why a person with refractory depression will find it almost impossible for a U.S. physician to prescribe them opiates off-label for their TRD.

Also despite the ~200 studies and their own patents that maker of Buprenex and the Subs, Reckitt (world's largest maker of household cleaners, grin) available at least in Asbtract on their web site, probably over 99.9% of U.S. doctors will either trat you as psychotic or simply kick you out of their office if you seek opiates for your TRD.

I know of a handful of people who have found such doctors, usually elderly psychiatrists near retirement or already retired but kept their license who write such scrips, but even if you find such person, they will sually not share that name with you unless you're good friends.

The two drugs which CAN be legally prescribed for long-term maintenance of TRD and and methadone, but if you go in to seek those meds, you will almost always be kickedout unless you present as a opiate "addict" who has found a way to self-medicate with a controlled substance opioid ... with tramadol not counting.

It's not really lying. It's just not telling them the fundamental cause of your self-medication, which is none of their business and is not required to be disclosed under federal guidelines for opioid maintenance.

It's a terrible shame that our society (pretty much all the "First World") requires TRD sufferers who want long-term LEGAL and medically supervised "treatment" to first of al procure and use illicit opiates ... and then become physically dependent on them before they can ever be considered as eligible for opiate-replacement therapy as a "back door" way of legally obtaining the type of meds they need to survive. So vote Libertarian instead of for Tweedledum or Tweedledee because neither of the ruling party candidats have expressed anything negative about the U.S. War on Drug Users.

This blog is one of only three places I know of on the internet where this topic is discussed. Anyone interested is urged to check out (and post) at the "Suboxone for Depression" thread at the message board at started by a lawyer who says he's writing a book on the subject and is lobbying with Reckitt (supposedly) for them to use the patent the already have for using buprenorphine to treat depression with an FDA-approved label.

Also, check out the two-year+ and 21-page thread on the topic here:

September 14, 2008  
Anonymous Trampy said...

OK, Blogger truncates long URLs and it doesn't allow the html tag so you're going to have to use this link:
and you can scroll back just one page to see why I believe the (N=10) open-label Bodkin experiment tha showed improvement in only 5 out of the 10 subjects and it really did not deserve publication in a peer-reviewed journal due to the shoddy work and tiny and flawed study.

There are literally hundreds of other moe robust studies available if you drill down from the Reckitt site where the have assembled over 20o references to support the claim that buprenorphine is helpful in treating numerous "mental illnesses." Will post a tinyurl later for that site at Reckitt.

If you want to see how much animosity this idea created, read the first five pages the the thread:

September 14, 2008  
Anonymous Trampy said...

OK. The blog owner has already posted a link to an updated "bodkin experiment" on this blog that shows Reckitt's URL:

Just to give you an idea of how much work is going on, two years ago there were only a few hundred entries there, but due to new publications and/or the diligence of Reckitt, that bibliography now has 9657 entries.akasiyxw

September 14, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody try LDN for depression? I have tried LDN at the doses suggested by Dr. Bihari (1.5mg - 4.5mg QHS) and I have found that those doses antagonize my opioid receptors too much and make me feel lethargic and more depressed. I am thinking the correct dose is somewhere around 10mcg - 100mcg every night. Dosing every other night might be useful too since the metabolite of Naltrexone is also an active opioid receptor antagonist and has a half-life of around 13 hours.

October 29, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going to go on LDN treatment starting next Monday. I have tried all the anti-depressants and they either made me sleep all the time or gave me mood swings and I ended up buying many flowers for friends to say "Sorry". I was always waiting to feel normal.... never happened. So I will check in again to let you all know how the LDN treatment works for me. I am going to a Fibro. doc who prescribes LDN as part of his treatment.

January 24, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I posted the last note I saw on this. I am now taking LDN treatment at 1.5 mg. My depression and anxiety is so improved that I am encouraged. I guess I am just writing to say it is working for me. So is you want to learn more, check out I am wanting to increase my dosage. Let you know how it goes!

February 08, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Anonymous above - Thank you for letting people know your experience with LDN. I have suffered from serious depression for over 20 years. When I first tried LDN, I started with 0.5 mg the first night, 1 mg the second night, 2 mg the third night, and 4 mg the fourth night. When I woke up the next morning after taking 4 mg around 11pm the previous night, I was completely free of depression and had energy and even got my sense of humor back too.

Unfortunately, because of a shoulder injury, I had to take some opioid medications for pain relief and had to stop the LDN and the depression came back, but I will soon be starting the LDN again and I expect it to work just as good as before. LDN can really be a life saving medicine for people with severe refractory depression.

I really want to thank Rearden for creating this web page and sharing all this information. Rearden, I have no doubt that your web page has positively changed people's lives. Thanks Rearden!

February 09, 2009  
Blogger ColonyDrop said...

Thanks for this amazing piece!

I've had severe depression for over 6 years and only a few months ago started on a combination of Effexor, Wellbutrin and Buspirone which has been working fairly well. Nonetheless, reading that was truly eye-opening, I immediately realized that the syndrome you described describes me to a tee. My current regime is working satisfactorily and I have to continue it for at least 6 months for other reasons, but after this I seriously intend to pursue this avenue of treatment.

Once again, my thanks for the info.

March 07, 2009  
Blogger harmonious1 said...

Wow, great information! I'm excitedly waiting for my Dr appt to try and get LDN. I pray it will help me.
To the author: How are you? Are you able to get on LDS yet? I just found your page and read that one page so I don't know, maybe you have an update somewhere. Hope you are feeling OK...
To Joe: hope you are hangin in there too. Don't do it!
Good health to us all...

March 19, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this blog while looking for information on Low Dose Naltroxine Therapy after learning of LDN for PAWS treatment on a MedHelp forum. The information I was able to find made me think that LDN was a logical treatment option for depression. I came to this search as a result of worsening depression after quitting Opioid use for pain. Thank you so much for the information. I wondered if I had a chronic deficiency of Endorphins and the informaion you have provided gives me hope.

May 22, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog has helped me a great deal, I completely found myself (and other family members for that matter) in it. Thank you so much for giving a name to something I've suspected had great legitamacy for all my teenage and adult years.


Rachel, CA

July 30, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Corrected URL:

LDN is available without a prescription. See how to obtain LDN File on the above list.

August 16, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd never heard of EDS before today. I found it while researching Tramadol and trying to understand how it works on the brain and why it has anti-depressant properties.

I have all the symptoms of EDS and have all of my life. Like many, I have turned to opioid drugs to "feel normal" I think I was blessed to finally be given a prescriptin for Tramadol.

This is an excellent blog, thank you for starting it.

November 19, 2009  
Blogger Paul said...

Thank God, this may be exactly what is wrong with me. My whole life - literally I can't remember a time when I was truly happy. Until I was about 19 I had my molars removed and took my first vicodin. And yeah, I felt like myself - the real me. The question is how to get the doctors to believe us.

November 19, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting all this information. As I read through this I felt like I had composed it myself as the thoughts were so similar. I have been so frustrated over the years looking for a cure or even some mitigation for my constant anxiety and depression only to be left frustrated and a little bit poorer in the end. Unfortunately, self medication with opiates is no solution either do to this country's insane "War against Drugs", which in reality is a war against mostly law abiding citizens who harm no one but themselves.

I have tried all the anti-depressants available and not one provided any benefit. I kept telling my doctor that I was positive my problems were not serotonin related and tried to explain how opiates made me feel. It was if I was a super responder. I could take a few Vicdodins and I would feel wonderful, open, hopeful, energetic. When they wore off I would return to my usual lethargic despondent anxiety ridden self. Unfortunately, opiates of the nasty side effect of ever increasing tolerance and it was only a few years before I went from a couple of pills daily to injecting heroin on a daily basis. The irony is I always worked my best and was the most productive when I had the most drugs around and when my supply was stable. I would not get "high" and sit around the house. I would use my dose, go to work, kick ass, come home, redose, go to the gym, go out a bit and come home. I was not into parties, I did not like being nonfunctional, that was why I loved opiates, they made me "ME". The way I always felt I should be and knew I had inside me, but could never get out. Whenever my supply became irregular was when my problems would start. The other problem is using opiates for depression just creates more self loathing as you feel stigmaized as a criminal for using an illicit substance. I loved hearing smokers and drinkers criticize my drug use. The sheer hyporcrisy of our society is mind bending.

Thanks again,.

December 14, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good info... after fighting with heroin addiction for over 20 yrs, the only thing that works for me is a methadone clinic. i've tried suboxone, gave it a good 6 mth try, but it didn't come close to keeping me feeling normal. so back to the clinic i went. its tough to deal with overall, but after all this time, i think my endorphin deficiency is way too bad for anything else. its good to see people finally taking this subject seriously finally, back in the days before oxycottyn & vicodin, we were just treated like complete losers. now so many people have experienced this that its finally being given the attention it deserves. much appreciated...

January 22, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for writing this. It has been a huge help, and relief to learn that I am not alone. I had never heard of EDS before finding your blog. I found it by researching if there were other people like me who felt normal on opiates. I have recently ordered LDN, and I am going to try my hardest to substitute it for my addiction. Like you, I wish I had learned of LDN before getting addicted to opiates. Wish me luck, and good luck to all.

March 06, 2010  
Blogger hannah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

March 19, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I first sought help for severe depression I was a bit taken aback to learn that it was about a 'serotonin deficiency'. It seemed somehow to make little sense. But then after trying a range of meds that worked on serotonin levels in the brain, the serotonin explanation made even less sense to me.

If serotonin was always the problem, wouldn't there have been a significant underground market for serotonin boosters?? Wouldn't there have been such a thing long before the commercial antidepressant boom? In demand by people desperate for relief of their suffering. At least where those instead went for things like opiates. Why would people rather have risked tolerance buildup and withdrawal symptoms, plus other issues, if much safer serotonin boosters were the answers to their deficiency symptoms. Speaking of self-medicating addicts.

The endorphin explanation seemed to make much more sense. It instinctively seemed more directly related to the experience of dysphoria and inability to feel mental pleasure, based on your remembered anecdotes.

I'd initially expected that antidepressants would work just like certain street drugs, but be safer. I didn't think treating mood disorders were such a vague science, given even children may have some idea of mood boosters. I was obviously dead wrong.

I still gave them a chance, since They were the doctors, not me. But it's cost many years of my life. I am still just as depressed, except that cynicism has replaced some of the hope I used to have.

March 23, 2010  
Blogger danielle said...

amazing, I have waited for years to find someone who believed and knew this.
I am in my late 40's and my entire life has been ruined by debilitating depression. I am very strong and have tried everything and consider myself a soldier because I never stay in bed, I force myself to work out, I force myself to be kind, etc ad nauseam. I figured it out years ago: my brain chemistry is damned. Poppies grow and they make me feel normal (experience from the random rare scrip for an injury, etc). While on them, I had a glimpse of what life is like for others. Suddenly I was NATURALLY calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, content, productive. My thoughts were organized. I could think clearly.
I have been in prison a number of times, tried committing suicide a number of times, have a few college degrees, have had cosmetic surgeries, have totaled a few cars, have never had a successful relationship because I am so unhappy, have, debilitating, chronic insomnia. Never held a job for longer than a year but have the IQ to be a high level professional.
My life has been hell on earth and I am beginning to feel mean. Because it is not fair.
Not only have I suffered with an invisible illness that takes the joy out of absolutely EVERYTHING, but I am judged by all my failures when in reality I should be given the Nobel Prize because I am still getting up every morning. I pray for death each day.
So will the nazis ever stop policing the doctors and give us a chance to live life with the medicine we need? I tell you now, I had great things I was meant to give to the world in the Arts.... the depression made it impossible to do anything more than function at the blandest level.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.

April 27, 2010  
Blogger Judith said...

Is a blog with good references and reports successful well, just remember that drugs like vicodin, hydrocodone, can be dangerous if not managed properly ..

August 04, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Please try Low Dose Naltrexone for your depression. I took 0.5mg naltrexone before bed one night and woke up the next day with the depression 100% gone! My brain created a lot of extra endorphins while I was sleeping and trust me, natural endorphins are the best anti-depressant! Some people need 1mg to 4mg at bedtime, but as little as 0.5mg worked for me.

August 25, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've suffered from depression for 40+ years, and have been treated with every type of antidepressant, as well as ECT.

None of these treatments has solved the problem for an extended duration.

For the past three years, I have been taking taking a combination of Lexapro, Nortryptilin, Wellbutrin, and Lamictal. I do have my down times, and nothing fixes that.

I have thought for some time that I DO NOT HAVE endorphins -- or at least have never experienced them. I live in the DC Metro area. If I could locate a doctor who would prescribe the drug you discuss (Buprenorphine), I would be thrilled.

Thank you for your time and commitment.

Linda M.
Alexandria, VA

October 05, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Please try LDN FIRST. If you think you lack endorphins, LDN has a very high probability of helping you. Buprenorphine should be tried only if LDN fails to help you.

October 07, 2010  
Anonymous Tom Rees said...

I have a bupe story on my blog that you should use as a testimonial. I have worked in the recovery industry with alot of dual diagnosis patients, which i am, and bupe saved my life. Getting it was no way task but I'll never let it go. No tolerance build up have I noticed in 2 years. It's at

January 05, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This website needs to be desperately updated with information about Low Dose Naltrexone. Subutex / suboxone is an unreasonable and expensive direction . My first week at 1.5 mg LDN stopped my depressive disorder and my psychiatrist noted my file as in remission.

April 06, 2011  
Blogger bear said...

L.D.N. is wonderful, it's life changing for me. I've suffered so long with depression, my Dr. said that my good days i was "clinically depressed", and taking ldn for physical problems, worked. I kept taking it for the depression, i take 2 mg. twice a day.

June 29, 2011  
Blogger Deepakshi Display Devices (P) Ltd. said...


September 05, 2011  
Anonymous Effects of Stress said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 06, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I didn't know there was a NAME for the list of things I suffered from most of my life!

Excellent page on EDS, and thanks so much for posting about LDN!

Since being on LDN I no longer have severe depression and all the attendant issues.


November 13, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Rearden, for your courage in bringing this issue to light and for your candor.
You are the modern version of that noble soul who observed leeches as a cure for mental illness was not only ineffective, but also cruel and inhumane.
The pharmaceutical companies have brainwashed society into thinking it's the fault of the patient if they fail to get better, perpetuating a stereotype and leaving them in desperate straits. After decades of taking anti-depressants based on the serotonin deficiency model, a test revealed that my serotonin not just high, but exceedingly high.
Thank you for your bravery.
Hope you're well.

November 14, 2011  
Anonymous Swim said...

hey everybody...

you may be interested in my blog. it deals with everything opiates, exogenous and endogenous, concerning EDS.

November 24, 2011  
Blogger Steffi said...

Thank you for the info. It sounds pretty user friendly. I guess I’ll pick one up for fun. thank u

Opiate Addiction

January 01, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the thing I was waiting to see. I've tried all the usual ssri's,snri's ,trazadone,zispin,buspar all in cycles and used excercise,fish oils.
These wern't at minimum doses, no siree.The maximum doses for all and I am still feeling like it was day 1 , except for the medications wonderful side effects ,by the way i'm being sarcastic.
I have to concur about the capsicum peppers,I did notice a huge boost in mood when I used Tabasco , and ate Bird Eye Peppers.The pain killing capaiscin must be looked into by anyone who is suffering existence ,like me ,who have been in intensive care a few times.

April 03, 2012  
Blogger Technician 101 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

May 24, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My doc wants me to do a Deep Brain Stimulation brain surgery. DBS. It is a clinical trial. Has anyone tried this?
I am wondering if where they put the electrodes is in a part of the brain that stimulates natural opiates?
This is what is considered a last possible effort for remission and a life with any possible quality.... Very experimental.
Any experience or information would be very appreciated. Thanks!

November 25, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why no mention of Low Dose Naltrexone on this blog? It banished my 4 years bout with Refractory Depression when nothing else worked. Why trade one dependency for another by using Suboxone? LDN is safer than aspirin with no dependency or serious side effects.

April 20, 2013  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is great to see this site and read about all the people suffering from depression. I would like to share my story here since it is little different then what i read above. I am ex Army and served there for 23 years. I was a long distance runner and enjoyed my life running for about 23 years. I used to get runner's high almost everyday. Then something went wrong. I stpped getting runner's high and my blood pressure used to drop drastically after running. and then came the bout of depression which I am facing for last almost 5 years. I have tried all the anti depressants but nothing worked. I tried homeopathy which gave me temporary relief.
The only positive side is that I get the feeling of well being some times when I use the pain killers like Ibrufen etc. To me it means that the system is still capable of providing me the feeling of well being if I can get the right medication. What is that right medication? My few questions are:
1. Has any one faced the same issue of endorphins deficiency at later stage in life? I am 52 years now. I enjoyed life till about 5 yeas back.
2. Any suggestions for the medication? I Have just started LDN yesterday and do not know how will this respond?
3. Can I start Effexor silmutaniously with LDN?
4. Any other suggestions.

May 06, 2013  
Blogger Kelley Mackaig said...

Hello my Friend... I haven't checked in with you in quite some time... Its been years actually... Man, how the time seriously flies! You've been on my mind lately - and I just wanted to pop in and say hi and to see how you were doing... (You might not even remember me, it's been that long!! LOL) But, hopefully you do - I hope even more that this finds you doing well!


February 14, 2014  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was prescribed buprenorphine (suboxone) 6 years ago for refractory depression. I've taken hydrocodones periodically and prefer it to the buprenorphine. Buprenorphine makes me feel emotionless. I'm trapped because no doctor is going to give me hydrocodone. This is not living and sometimes I wish I could end my life since there's no way out of this.

April 01, 2014  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been dropping by your EDS site for quite a while. I'm surprised there isn't more activity! I don't have time to go into my story now, but I did want to point out a Low Dose Naltrexone site by a gentleman who calls himself "Dr. Commonsense".
See his youtube vids.

He's not the only LDN guy out there obviously, but he's got a lot of worthwhile stuff to say!

October 14, 2014  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This article is absolutely life changing to me. I have struggled with depression and failed relationships for YEARS. I finally decided to get help and was recently put on Effexor. Its too early to say if it will work for me but your article is very encouraging to me. For the last 2 weeks, I have been taking hydrocodone and of course, immediately seen results in my depression. Suddenly felt normal. Haven't felt normal in years. I notice how intolerable of a person I am around my husband. As soon as the drama starts in my mind, I can pop the hydrocodone and suddenly realize what MY problem is and everything starts to make sense. I am not interested in being an addict or getting "high". So I hope to reproduce the endorphins naturally (and with the help of Effexor) My life is completely messed up but I'm more encouraged than ever to turn it around. Thank you for this article.

February 13, 2015  
Blogger Delyssandra said...

Finally!!! After months of searching for similar stories to MINE!

I'm going to post a link below, to the story I posted on another forum. EXACTLY what this article talks about happened to me this year.

*Another note about EDS…during major depressive episodes I have self harmed my entire life. Doctors would say "it releases endorphins and makes one feel better"….hmm….interesting:…

November 10, 2015  
Blogger Delyssandra said...

Looks like link didn't work, so here is the copy and paste:

I know I'm going to get patronized by more experienced opiate users…but please understand that everyone's situation is different.

I have had major depression her entire life (28 years) and March of 2015 was the onset of the fifth major depressive episode and is still going strong. This depressive episode was much different than all others and finally I sought professional help. Never before did I try any psychiatric medications or illegal drugs (aside from alcohol, which I self medicated with for a long time).

I was prescribed various antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, including Celexa, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Xanax and Klonopin and Adderall for ADHD. After these medications had no effect, I went to a specialist to get Ketamine injections for treatment of refractory depression, with no results.

After about 7 months of internal suffering, including suicidal thoughts and extreme self harm, insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety induced nausea and vomiting and depression induced anorexia/bulimia, in addition to me mutilating harm with razor blades, I was at rock bottom with the cancer that is major depression. No medications were working and I was desperate.

After a botched suicide attempt during a white water rafting venture in August 2015, I fell into a debilitating state of being. I couldn't get off the couch for 4 days and so, finally reached out to an acquaintance and asked for an opiate, which I've never tried before.

At first the acquaintance gave me Oxycontin 80mg, which I took orally. Within 40 minutes, my suicidal thoughts and urges to self harm were alleviated for the first time in 7 months. Optimism, an unknown feeling to me, also manifested itself within me.

Then, the acquaintance gave me H. Surprisingly, H wasn't relieving my symptoms. After I discovered that snorting large doses of H didn't get me high or help my depression, I went to see another specialist.

This psychiatric doctor believed me about the prior medications and the Oxycontin effect and prescribed me 8 mg buprenorphine for depression and said that my brain didn't produce dopamine and endorphins at a normal level, which has ensued in me having major depression and abnormal opiate tolerance.

Within 20 minutes of sublingually taking buprenorphine, my suicidal thoughts and urges to self harm were alleviated again.

I recently also injected H and again, my depression is alleviated. I can shoot 4 bags at once with only doing opiates since end of August. And I don't feel euphoric from this, my depression is only alleviated and I have a will to live.

I have 1 current and 2 former H addicts in my family and knows all about addiction and junkies.

But I think I would rather be addicted to opiates than live with major depression that will most definitely lead to suicide.

I would like to hear the thoughts of this community...

November 10, 2015  
Blogger Patrik said...

Thank you for writing about EDS. I suffered for many years. I was offered a pill for a headache one day. An opiate. I had no idea what that meant: 'opiate'. I took it. Half an hour later my depression wanished, I felt like 'the real me'. I was so incredibly amazed. What I had felt ALL my life, the terrible depression was gone. Oh my god, I couldn't imagine a pill would help me like that. 15 years later I now know for a fact that no serotonin pills work; they make me far worse if anything. EDS is real. And I feel sad doctors know nothing about it. So what option do I have? For years I took different opiates, but of course I became addicted. Some time ago I found a natural solution: KRATOM. For me it works just as good as opiates. And it's not nearly (if at all) addictive. But of course, now it's being prohibited in many countries. It's a fucking shame. I guess they want people to buy pills, it's a monstrosity.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course being high temporarily cures depression! I relate to all but one of the criterias used to self diagnose endorphin deficiency syndrome: I did get Runners high prior to Suboxone. After being addicted to pain killers after a nasty accident I got clean it was hard, it hurt & I lost 20kg but somewhere in the process I learnt that I could get really high if I worked out & for the first time ever my depression was managable & without antidepressants
Fast forward 7 years & I was stupid & became addicted to my Father's Suboxone after surgery.
Now 5 years later I've lost the runner's high & my libido & also developed a very serious addiction to sugar (I never had a sweet tooth before).
Suboxone sucks! Though I do agree that endorphin deficiency syndrome is possible & I've heard the theory. Both my parents are addicts & many other relatives are too. Others are alcoholics. My Mum's theory was she used so much heroin in her day that her body no longer produced endorphins as it did prior to addiction & because of this theory she is totally shocked I loathe what Suboxone has done to my life & thought like her I would stay on opiate treatment (My Mum's been on Methadone 39 years..since I was 2) I was breast fed while my Mum was using (until 2.5!) so my Mum's theory that her few years of herion use completely destroyed her natural highs...well why didn't it destroy mine too?
My Father would quit herion cold turkey but later in life developed an addiction to codeine. He thought it helped his anxiety & depression. His Suboxone Dr explained endorphin deficiency syndrome & although it sounds like what my Mum says it's different. Like people with Adhd need a tiny bit of speed people with endorphin deficiency syndrome need tiny bit of opiates. But but but!
How many people have read the above diagnostic criteria for endorphin deficiency syndrome & suddenly self diagnosed & thought "oh cool great a cure to my pain I'm off to get myself physically addicted to an opiate" yeah sure I'd like to think nobody's that stupid...People will look for all kinds of excuses to justify their addiction & addiction causes depression.
Please just don't think because you related to all the diagnostic criteria for endorphin deficiency syndrome that A. You have it & B. Suboxone will help you.


January 16, 2017  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Anon. Just because you related to the diagnostic criteria for endorphin deficiency syndrome doesn't mean you have the disorder or that opiate drugs will cure it.

January 17, 2017  
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Has anyone heard from Reardon recently or knows how to contact him? Joseph

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